Can you afford fear?

What is fear? A quick search of the word fear leads to the following result.

Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. The keyword here is p-e-r-c-e-i-v-e-d. Most often than not, its just a perception which is only psychological. By affording fear, I mean to say that the perception of fear is only with those who can afford it. If you can't afford the condition that fear of something or someone brings with it, you will not be afraid of that something or someone. Sounds confusing is it?

Let me try to explain it with a simple real life example. We all have female member in our family who would scream their lungs out when they see a cockroach. Same was the case in our family. When I was a school going kid, I used to believe that all females are afraid of cockroach. I believed it because I was told so. One fine day another such incident happened in front of me. My mom was screaming at the sight of a cockroach, and generally she was calmed by my father who used to throw the cockroach out of the house. But, this time since dad was not at home, the drama continued for longer than it generally does. Fortunately, there was our maid who had come to work at our place, she saw my mom screaming, calmly picked up the cockroach and threw it out of the house. I was watching in utter disbelief. I could not believe that a lady can do such a thing. I had to ask her how and why she is not afraid the same way like every female does. She simply said, we can't afford to be afraid. If we are afraid of cockroaches, we wouldn't be able to live. There were hundreds of those tiny creatures at the places she stayed and since she was a widow she had to deal with those herself. Her answer really taught me a big lesson at that young age.  Yes, she was right that she can't afford to be afraid of those creatures. Same logic applies all kinds of fears. Fear is anyways a fake psychological perception. Only those people who can afford to be afraid are afraid.

There are tons of examples in this world to prove this point. Most of us are afraid to go near the dead or be around a dead body even when it's the body of our own family member. Have you ever imagined what a person whose job is to assist in doing post-mortem of dead bodies go through? Can they afford to be afraid of dead bodies? The answer is a big NO. They have to do their job without any fear and only then they can provide food for themselves and family. Can a watchman of the cremation ground afford fear of dead bodies? Absolutely not. So, it is only because we can afford it, we are afraid of fear. We can actually apply this to any kind of fear that we have.

So often the fear of failure keeps us away from trying. But, again we will only fear till the time we can afford it. Once you understand that your fear is more harmful to you than the consequences that you are actually afraid off, you give up your fear. There is so much material available on the internet on how to overcome your fear and there are people available for help. All you have to do, is make up your mind and ask yourself, can you really afford to be afraid? Once you figure out that the answer is NO, you will be the first person to help yourself give up the fear and then go ahead to win over it. And believe me there is no bigger win than winning over your fear. As someone has very rightly said in Hindi "Dar ke aage jeet hai!" meaning there is victory ahead of fear. So, lets overcome all our fears for now and for always.

Every picture tells you a story !

I am sure that someday when I grow old, I will come back at this blog and smile when I look at this pic. This picture was taken at the very beginning of of our Raireshwar trek on August 18th 2018. A trek organized by our company Allscripts's sports committee. When we got down from our bus, as soon as I saw this smiling person, I asked him to get one pic with us. He did not understand much, but was smiling even more when we all surrounded him. To me this is the pic of the day. And when I was looking into the camera to get that perfect pic, the old man was talking to me. He was saying, it has been raining for so many days now and he had been stuck indoors because of rains. He wants to be outside in the midst of nature, but rains kept him inside. The rains had stopped for only about 15 mins and he was out. I loved the energy and the youthful smile that he possessed. Our group was interested in listening to his story, which you can notice from the pic. Nikhil and Rohan are looking at him while he is explaining his wisdom about nature. Lovely snap taken by Nitin. This was an awesome moment. Loved it. The pic set the mood for the trekking trip.

From left to right Prajit Save, Rohan Basankar, Nikhil Deopujari, The model of this pic,Yours truly and Varun (Mr. 45 kg) . Pic Credits, Nitin Lohar

Authority Vs Responsibility

A quick search on google for the keywords "Authority Vs Responsibility" results into the following statement
Authority refers to the legal right of the Manager to give orders and expect the obedience from subordinates. On the other hand, responsibility is the corollary i.e. result of the authority. While authority is delegated, by the superior to subordinates, responsibility is assumed i.e. it is inherent in the task assigned. That’s a very politically correct definition of the terms.
In the above statement Manager refers to anyone who Manages a team of people. In the literal sense Management is the art of getting work done from others, and on the same lines Manager is someone who is responsible for getting work done from his subordinates. Did you notice the word responsible in the last sentence? So, a Manager has Authority, but he is r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-l-e for getting the work done. The point I am trying to make here is same as the famous saying, "With great power comes greater responsibility". Power and Authority are two sides of the same coin, so it can be said that with Authority comes responsibility.

I would like to take this one step ahead and say that only those who can understand the responsibility part correctly, would be able to succeed in their Authority. To me if someone has an authority, he has double the responsibility and if the authority is not used correctly it turns out into a liability.
Let's understand this with an example from Cricket. There was this time when Greg Chappell the great Australian cricketer was asked to assume the responsibility of being a coach for team India. He got the authority and without understanding the consequences he started ordering to execute his commands on the Indian cricket team. Indian team that time was star studded with the likes of Sachin, Dravid, Sehwag, Laxman, Kumble, Srinath, Harbhajan, Yuvraj and all those great players. He kept experimenting with the batting order and did really micro manage on things that otherwise could have been left alone. Now, do we really need to coach a team with the likes of such great players? The answer is a big NO. All they needed was some guidance and follow a strategy by choosing right man for every task they wanted to execute. But, Greg Chappell with his attitude spoiled it all. The result was for everyone to see. In World cup 2007, we lost to Bangladesh and Srilanka and was an early exit for a team that was considered as having the potential to lift the cup. Fortunately, the BCCI did not have to continue with Greg Chappell and he put in his resignation with India's exit from the World cup. Next, Gary Kirsten the South African great was asked to assume the seat vacated by Greg Chappell. Gary on the contrary to Greg had a method of his own. He gelled with the team so well and he was able to motivate the same team to again perform to their full potential once more. The result of that was evident on April 2, 2011, i.e. the final of the World cup. India won the world cup after 28 years. So, the example shows, how the difference of attitude to take the authority given as a responsibility can change the whole picture. Same team, two different people with different attitudes and the result was completely different.

Attitude is of real importance when dealing with any living thing. Even a dog can understand whether you are talking to him politely or with arrogance in your voice. The key thing to understand here is, authority is wrapped in a different clothing, but deep within it is actually nothing but responsibility. One may think that he is getting the work done with his Authority, but, unless there is a politeness in your voice and attitude, people may do the work for the sake of it, but, eventually, we may not get the quality that we are seeking. Again, there is very thin line in finding the difference between being polite and being authoritative. There must be a correct balance always so that one side do not get heavy on the other. Putting long story short, Authority can only succeed when used with the right attitude and when there is a realization of the responsibility attached to the Authority.

The Dilema between C hash (#) and C Sharp

This is not about making fun of the so called Job Consultants. Though consultant is a very sophisticated word for them. It can't be generalized, there are some real Job consultants who can really help you,but,  then there are also these random callers who find your resume from odd job sites and call you. I was in Mumbai at that time and was in the experience bracket of 5-6 years when we all are overwhelmed with such callers because that is the experience range which is too much in demand. Even today that seems to be the case, however, the range might have been extended a bit from 5-6 years to about 3-5 years because this was about 13-14 years ago. We all are in a mad race at that time to test ourselves every other day to find how big an offer or package as they say in India, can we get. Every other person takes the call of any such random caller for the sake of getting to know whats on offer. Whether the job would really suit the skill set if none of our business. That's the business of the random caller who would find out whether you really have the skill set the company is really looking for.

One such random caller called me one day and started the basic discussion. She asked me about my experience and I told her that I have this many years of experience in .Net and C Sharp. After hearing, she was kind of disappointed and told me that, but, I was looking for someone having experience in C Hash (#). It seems all my experience was in C sharp and that was not something that she was looking for. I was taken aback by her response. To all those who are new to C Sharp or C hash(#), it is actually the same thing.  I told her that C sharp and C# are same thing and they are actually two names of the same Microsoft Language. She said I don't know all that; your resume posted on the site is mentioning that you have experience in C# and all you are saying is about C Sharp. I realized that she has been asked to find a matching skill set and all she was looking for was the keyword C hash(#). I rephrased my introduction again by replacing C sharp with the keyword she was looking for, the magic word hash(#). She said are you sure that you really have the experience in C hash. I confirmed the same in affirmative. Somehow, she was not very much convinced and even though she promised to get back, I never heard from her again.

I later realized that she belonged to a category of Job consultants, who were pretty new to their work and was sincere on her task to find a matching skill set of keywords that she was asked to. When I narrated this incident to my other friends, we all had a great laugh about it. From then on, I made sure I would talk about my experience mentioning the exact keyword that the Job consultant calling me was looking for.

Thanks Giving

This email was written by me in the year 2012 to my very close friends to thank them for being there for me then and always.

Being an Indian and grown up following the Indian culture, I have not been pretty much accustomed to the American culture. As I grew up, slowly I learned something or the other every new day, month and year about it. In the busy schedules throughout the year, they have seen to it that there are special days for Mother(Mother's Day), Father (Father's Day), Women (Women's Day), for people in love Valentine's Day, Friends (Friendship Day) et al. Not that I am big fan of American Culture, but, if there are good things in any culture, we can always adopt it.

But, the most special day or days came to my knowledge much much later in my life. I was working in Countrywide Financials Mumbai when the HR over there asked us to celebrate the Thanksgiving day (week) in a very unique way. They asked us to get small cards from the company store and give it to anyone within the company for thanking them, if we liked to thank them for something or the other during that year. I just loved it. There are so many things and so many times in our life when we feel like thanking our friends, relatives and people around us for being there, for helping us out, and for all that made us happy and our day a better day. And to get a chance to thank all those who made a difference is an opportunity that we miss most often. So, this thanksgiving celebration every year has given me a wonderful opportunity to look back and feel grateful about all those who made a difference in my life. I try to thank the Almighty in whatever way possible for giving me such a wonderful life and on top of it wonderful people around me. To me the best way to thank the Almighty is to help any creation of the almighty be it human being, animals or the nature. I try to do that in every which way possible to me, though I know that I could still do more.

This year has been a little tough on me on a personal front. You all know that I have gone through an irreversible loss recently. I lost my father. It could have been a total break down for me had you not been there with me. You can't imagine how big a contribution that you have made in my life during that period. I cant really explain in words what your being there and helping me out at such a crucial time meant for me. Thanks is such a small word. But, there is a word in Marathi called Janiv, in plain english it means one should not forget. So, I pray to GOD that come what may, I should never forget that at the time when I needed most, at the time when hell broke loose, you were there with me. Thank you so much for being there. There are very few wonderful people in this world who make life worth living. To me, you are one of those.

Thank you very much for being there and I hope you will always be there for me.